We Who Fear Death

For all my life, I have been unmoved by the concept of death. Death is not the lack of light, sound, or feeling-it is the lack of anything. When we die, we do not feel anything, nor do we acknowledge or understand that we are dead. Our brains simply lose function and descend into obscurity as the maggots bite our putrid rotting flesh six feet under. Thus, I concluded, “Why fear death if we will not see anything beyond it?” The rationale behind fearing anything is not wanting to experience the reaction or consequence of that event happening. If we fear war, it is because we do not want to live in a dysfunctional country or lose our family. If we fear losing a loved one, it is because we hate the experience of living a meaningless existence. But when we are face to face with something you cannot even experience, why are so many of us scared? 

I think it is because we aren’t directly scared of death, but rather the idea of losing everything, of not being able to do anything beyond the grave. People fear nonexistence because existing has been all that they have been doing. We are scared of not being able to breathe in that one last gulp of fresh earthy air, that one last kiss, that one last second of vision, that one last memory. Dying is a deeply personal thing, something that each individual must understand and accept in their own way. Whether it be devoting themselves to a movement or cause, making sure their family and friends will be well off once they depart, or simply spending every moment doing the thing they love, we should all have a way to cope with death. 

Personally, I have coped. When it is my time, I will calmly go. I will not fight the forces of the universe, I will not cry. I will not weep with the oceans of my conscience full of emotion, but I will accept the inevitable. I have experienced the busy Bangkok traffic, and the blaring voices on the television projecting across the room. I got to witness the world at its best, and humanity at its very worst. I get to experience instant communication, the digital revolution, and also the basic memories that form a life. Things can happen for so many reasons, or none at all. The universe is so unpredictable with so many contributing factors for a million things to happen in the blink of an eye. We should spend less time understanding the universe, instead savoring every passing moment as the clock of life clicks by, unwavering to the forces of mortal change. Why care so much about something infinite with you yourself are finite? 

To anyone who has yet to wrap their head around death and accept the unacceptable, do not worry. You have time, use it. It’s very unnecessary to understand death at such a young age. In fact, it might be counterintuitive. I’d say focus on the joys of life. Love for the sake of love, not for any kind of favor or for financial gain; love for the feeling of it. Find that person you care deeply about and embrace them in all the absurdity. If you have a project or passion, why not turn it into something bigger, something you have always dreamt about? You will die-this is your only chance. 

Human beings are the luckiest species, yet we are also the most miserable. We bear the privilege of self-reflection, the capability to look back and analyze our thoughts and emotions. We get to think deeply, but often the product of which causes more internal turmoil than fulfillment. I wonder whether life would be better if we were all goldfish. Too bad we will never know. We get to feel. We get to think. We get to love. We who get to die receive the highest privilege in all of the universe.